I'm sitting here. Contemplating on my life. I am sixteen, going on seventeen, and couldn't be more sure about what I want to do in life. I have been pondering this, and it's coming more and more clear. Just not the WHERE I want to go. I want to do either psychology or social work, and minoring either, Counseling, journalism, or something to do with religion. I want to do this only in the inner city setting, for kids under like the age of 12. I have this vision of little kids coming in my office that overlooks the big city, and they come crying to me about the tragedies that they have faces as a young child in the city. How awesome would it be so sit there, listen to their problems, and trying to heal those burdens with the love of Christ. I am starting to collect more and more Christian non-fiction so I can one day have them on my shelf. I want to one day be a writer, this I recently established. I want to have this book filled with everything I have learned as a Christian Social worker/psychologist for kids, and how it has turned my life upside down, and changed it, as I'm sure it will. For those kids will come to me hurt, and longing for love, some arms will be open wide, and some kids will have anger and be more set back and calm. How awesome would this be? I recently have been shown three people in my life who need the love of Christ. About a month ago, while working at the ice cream shoppe a little girl came in. Burdened by the fact that her father was a raging alcoholic, that all she'd ever seen was abuse by her parents. It touched my heart in huge way. Why did this 4 foot 9, 12 year old girl deserve this in her life? Her I am, two Godly parents, stable parents, and my relationship with Christ continuing to bloom. I knew I met this girl for a reason, as she left the shoppe three hours later, I looked into her blue eyes and I took her by the shoulders and told her to never forget that I am here, and I gave her my number. Haven't seen her much sense, but she is often on my mind, and I know that it's not the end. The second person, is this amazing girl I work with, she's 22 and engaged. She's a baby Christian, and found Christ because the man she is marrying. This girl was into drugs, alcohol, you name it...she did it. This gives me goosebumps, because it makes me feel God, knowing that he IS here, and he is just waiting...waiting for us to come to the Cross with our burdens. This girl, has done a complete 180-and gave her life up to Christ a year ago like, next week. The Third encounter, again, I was working at the Shoppe, A familiar face came in that had come in the previous week, only this time alone. He was a middle aged man with a smile from ear to ear. We ended up talking about how he was an alcoholic, and he became a Christian about 5 years ago, and he starts quoting scripture, better than what I could even do. We discussed life, and telling each other how Christ has been working. This is hard to believe, but God has been working in my life, I am proud to say. I can see it, feel it, and just imagine what it's going to be like in my future.
I am looking into graduating early at semester next year, which means I only have about a year left exactly of High School. It's a bittersweet feeling. Where has time gone? Seriously? I remember the days home with mom, staying in all day, playing with my toys, and eating snacks. I remember the time, when I was about 1 coming down to a new dollhouse, and reading with my mom and dad, I remember waiting for dad to come home at 3am when I was 3, I would hear him come home, because he used to work nights and I'd wave. Like I was trained to wake up then. I always get emotional when writing about my past and how sometimes all I want to do is go back. I never thought these days would come. Sitting her remeniscing about life, and laughs, and memories good and bad.
I often wonder where my God wants me? I am looking at a couple schools out of states, and have been talking to some great people. I am keeping the prayers going wild in my head. Praying that even though I have some time to decide, that I would not feel discouraged, and the exciting thing is, is that God already knows where I'm going to end up. So why am I worrying? Well, it's human nature. Knowing you want something so bad it hurts makes it worse. May God keep reminding me this:
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to PROSPER not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE." Jeremiah 29:11
